Hi guys, I hope everyone's quarter is going well. Today I would like to discuss a topic that has been on my mind and that may resonate with some of you.
If you are finding yourself feeling lost, frustrated, anxious, and not making the changes you want to make in your career, relationship, and health, then you might be inadvertently having thoughts that can limit your potential.
Just recently, I recalled a time when I had a discussion with a friend about feeling stuck and not knowing what to do in life. Graduation is right around the corner for some of us and the thought of not having a plan is quite scary. Personally, I would love to have a career in the business beauty and fashion industry but lately, I've been feeling so unmotivated. Fear and anxiety just somehow paralyze me. I would love to continue to pursue my dream but I just keep comparing myself to others and thinking I am not good enough to do the things I really want to do. Furthermore, the thought of not knowing what you want to do with your life piles on the stress. I feel stuck. I see my friends being successful and aware of what they want to do in life and I get frustrated thinking how everyone around me knows what they want and are achieving great things and I am just here stuck.
That was my old mindset.
Today, I am here to tell you that it is okay. The person you are today isn’t what you will be in the future. I understand that I am not the first person to tell you that. I've been in your shoes and I still am trying to be a more confident and positive person. Here are some tips I’ve learned to get here:
1) Give Yourself Enough Credit
I believe that we all need to give ourselves a lot more credit than what we are giving ourselves now. In reality, we are not that stuck. Just having the thought of not having our stuff together is what propels us to get our stuff together.
2) Everyone Feels Stuck and Unmotivated
YOU'RE NOT ALONE! I cannot stress this enough. I still get unmotivated and stuck sometimes but I have learned how to deal with it better. Most people are not always constantly motivated and doing something successful. People portray success as an uphill slope but in reality, it is like a rollercoaster. Success doesn’t come easy, it comes with trial and error. We’ll take Oprah and Steve Jobs as examples. I am sure they both struggled with feeling stuck and unmotivated but now look at how successful they’ve become. Eventually time will breed wisdom and success.
3) Everyone is still figuring things out
My current perspective on this whole topic has a lot to do with the stroke of enlightenment that I've had over the course of a few years. People need to understand that everyone is still trying to FIGURE THINGS OUT. President Obama, for example, was still trying to figure things out while he was in office. There isn't one person in this world that will tell you they know what they want, how they will achieve it, and when they will achieve it. Life is so much of trying to still figure things out, "Nothing will ruin your 20's more than thinking you should have your life together,” I saw this quote while I was scrolling through Pinterest and it really resonated with me. Life should be full of wonder, surprises, and endless possibilities.
4) Don’t compare yourself to others
Growing up comparing myself to others wasn't out of the norm for me. I live in an Asian household so you always need to be bigger or better than someone. Comparison breeds discontent. You shouldn't compare yourself to others. You should be proud of what you've achieved so far. Challenges and successes are idiosyncratic to people. What you've achieved might not be as amazing as someone else’s achievement but maybe they don't have a mental disability, they don’t have to balance school/work, and/or come from the same background you do. All of us are individually unique and so we can't compare ourselves to others because nobody is you. Nobody has gone through the hardships you've faced, no one lives your life, and nobody has the lack of resources you might have. If you are going to compare yourself to someone, at least compare yourself to someone that you don't want to be. Growing up, my mom didn't have the money to afford college, so now she has to work long hours at a nail salon. When I think about my mom and how many hardships she had to face, it motivates me to get a better job so that she can live comfortably. We often compare ourselves to people we aspire to be or want to be, but we don't ever really compare ourselves to people we don't want to be. When you can finally realize that comparing yourself to someone isn’t beneficial then maybe you can stop and evaluate the people around you. If you surround yourself with ambitious and driven people they will actually help you grow. For me, when I see someone working hard and getting the results they want it encourages me to do the same and become the person I want to be.
5) Keep a Positive Mindset
Try speaking positively about yourself. A positive mindset will create positive action. No one can achieve true success if they have a negative mindset. Feeling anxious and having toxic thoughts won’t help you achieve the goals you want.
6) Be grateful
Be grateful for what you have because we don’t realize all the small accomplishments we’ve made. Life is a series of a thousand miracles and we should notice them. Successful people are grateful, happy, and content with what they have because that allows them to focus on reaching their goals instead of little trivial things.
Not being where you want to be now should be enough motivation to get you to where you want to be. I might not be where I want to be now but I will be and I’m going to be. When I am feeling down these words help fuel me and keep me going.
Written by: Loi Han